Receiving, heard this word a lot recently? Gifts from the divine, downloads and the tiny millions of thank yous’ that can fill your day? Are you paying attention? Or does this woo stuff and laws of attraction/secrets just make your head nod. This post I’m talking about the goodness of letting go of knowing where it comes from.
I wanted to go to Banff for the ExpansionLIVE business and personal development conference; and I was scheduled to deliver my first talk there. How truly exciting, and what an opportunity to share the stage with so many professional speakers. ** Side note on this: This could be referred to as #4 Marunatings, Don’t put anything or anyone on a pedestal. OF COURSE I had this wonderful opportunity to showcase a little more of who I am. Events leading up to this though, like a week before would get me really thinking ‘Maybe I am not suppose to go’. Biggest reason for this thought, my flight ticket was yet to be booked. I couldn’t afford the flight, and the arrangement of swapping the speaker’s fee for a flight ticket was made with the organizer of the event. With multiple circumstances, that exchange couldn’t be made and I was presented with the situation of needing to pay for my own plane fair, if still wanted to attend in person.
In person, was it really needed? I couldn’t bring myself to ask for any money, I already owed! These thoughts twirled in my mind, as my partner and I canoed Balsam Lake. I was distracted with not knowing what to do, but pulled my focused in to the environment and storytellings of Zen. After camping for the weekend, we made a stop at a favourite restaurant, Sichuan cuisine. Don’t know it- enjoy here. And I cried, first time all weekend. I surrendered and said okay, it’s disappointing as heck but I just won’t be there in person. Virtual will satisfy.
Arriving later that night at a new friend’s house for a potluck drum dancing good time, my faced gave my defeat away. Conversation in the kitchen quickly turned into ‘there’s gotta be a away to get you there’ ‘what about a go fundme page?’ To someone opening their wallets and throwing out $40 on the kitchen counter. Followed by multiple people opening their purses, and giving twenty after twenty. I was brawling, covering my face to desperately content the immense shock of happiness that was coming out in the ugly cry. This was my third time meeting these wonderful people. Here they were cheering me on with one of the biggest acts of kindness I have experienced. Thank you, what I’ve come to learn since then is let go on the form on which something arrives for you to receive it.
PS Zen’s aeroplane points covered my flight, and the surcharges came to $220. In that kitchen during the impromptu go fund me $240 was raised.